In Our Corner: To Protect & Serve: Do Black Lives Really Matter?

Ta’Kiya Young & her unborn child killed by Police in an Ohio Parking Lot 08.24.2023:

“Out of the car,” the officer said multiple times.

“For what? Young asks.

“They said you stole stuff.  Do not leave,” he responds.

A second officer then stands in front of Young’s car, puts his hand on the hood, and eventually points his gun at her through the front windshield.

“I didn’t steal s—,” Young says.

“Then get out,” the first officer says.

The officer standing in front of the Young’s car is then seen pointing his gun towards her.

“Get out of the f—ing car,” the second officer says.

“No.” Young is heard saying, followed by, “You gonna shoot me?”

“Get out of the car,” the first officer responds while banging on Young’s window with one hand and grabbing the slightly opened window with the other.

Seconds later, Young is seen turning her steering wheel and driving off.  A sound is heard as the officer in front of the car fires into the windshield at close range and moves to the driver’s side.

In a statement [Chief] Belford, (Blendon Township) said Young drove her car directly into one of the officers and he “fired a single shot through the windshield,” which led to her death.  According to Belford, the officer is a victim of attempted vehicular assault.

(Regarding the other officer), Young also drove away with the other officer’s arm in the driver’s side window, making him a victim of misdemeanor assault, Belford said.

Because Young is dead, charges can’t be filed, but the crime victim status of both officers remain, Belford said.

“This is a tragedy.” Belford said. “Ms. Young’s family is understandingly very upset and grieving.  While none of us can fully understand the depths of her pain, all of us can keep her family in our prayers and give them the time and space to deal with this heartbreaking turn of events.”

– Mirna Alsharif NBC News

My Dear Readers,

I am writing in response to the police involved shooting death of Ta’Kiya Young. I am filled with intense sadness not only because of the tragedy of her needless death, but also the loss of her unborn child. This shooting, the latest in the ongoing psychological intrusions that continue to strike at the heart of the African American community, is akin to a tsunami. 

Tsunamis are giant waves caused by undersea earthquakes or volcanic eruptions. There are no identifiable means/ways to predict where, when or how destructive the next tsunami will be. However, while tsunamis cannot be prevented, there are things that can be done before, during, and after a tsunami that could save lives.

While deaths, injuries, and psychological trauma from natural occurrences like earthquakes or volcanic eruptions and the very unnatural deaths of African Americans by the intentional actions of police are both tragic and heart wrenching, they share another heartbreaking similarity: there is no identifiable means/ways to predict where, when or how destructive the next police shooting will be.

The Numbers Speak Truth: Consistency in the Killing of African Americans

There has been a consistent history of police involved shootings of African Americans.  Various research studies have reached the following conclusions:

• Black people, who account for 13% of the US population, account for 27 % of those fatality shot and killed by police in 2021. That means that Black people are twice likely as White people to be shot and killed by police officers.
• Another study over a 40-year period (1980-2019) found that Black Americans were estimated to be 3.5 times more likely to die from police violence than White Americans.
• A study conducted by Harvard School of Public Health found that Black Americans are 3.23 times more likely than White Americans to be killed by police.  The researchers examined 5,494 police related deaths in the US between 2013 and 2017.
• Police violence is a leading cause of death for young Black men in the United States.  Over the life course, about 1 in every 1,000 Black men can be expected to be killed by police. Risk of being killed by the police peaks between the ages of 20 and 35 for men and women for all racial and ethnic groups.
• Racial disparities in killing by police varied widely across the country, with some metropolitan areas showing high differences between treatment by race.  Black Chicagoans, for example were found to be over 650 % more likely to be killed by police than White Chicagoans.

The Tsunamis Comparison: Saving Lives: During & After Interaction with Police

As stated earlier, there are no identifiable ways/means to predict where, when or how destructive the next police shooting will be.  In relations to daily interactions with police using police powers in enforcing the law, Black people as individuals have the power to take actions that could save lives and reduce the psychological distress of the interaction that may follow. Such empowerment can come in the following two phase:

1. During the Police Stop
2. After the Police Stop

1. During the Police Stop

Understand …the police have the legal authority to stop, question and detain.  Keep your hands in open sight.  Keep your hands away from your body.

• Comply… Comply… Comply…with all police directives. Never leave the police stop without consent of the police.  By leaving without consent you are placing you and your passengers in danger of death, or physical injury.
• Be observant. Take quiet notice of the police officer’s badge, vehicle identification number, the policing agency (city, county, or state), the time of the police stop, address and other key information such as possible witnesses or traffic cameras.

2. After the Police Stop

“Do not seek to resolve the issue with the Police in the street.  You will lose.  The system is designed for you… to lose.”

• First, understand you have succeeded in stepping away alive, unharmed, and now you can return home…safe.
• Be observant of the officer’s mannerisms, use of language (profanity) the way the police stop was carried out. Take note of any actions by the police officer that created discomfort (placing his hand on or drawing his firearm).
• If you feel you have been wronged, file a formal complaint with the police agency’s Accountability Department. The complaint is now documented and will trigger the opening of a formal review of the situation and will become a permanent record in the police officer’s personnel file that will follow the officer throughout active policing to retirement.

Concluding Words

My Dear Readers,

A few weeks ago, in the blog entitled, “In Our Corner: Learning to Live with Fear not In Fear.”  I referenced the fear that African Americans feel when they or their loved ones interact with the police. They live every day, holding their breath…awaiting the next police shooting.  And now, we mourn the tragic police shooting death of Ta’Kiya Young and her unborn child. In reviewing the statements of Police Chief Belford as quoted in the beginning of the blog, there is a tapdancing around and intent to not only blame Ms. Young for their deaths but also to cite the two officers as “crime victims”.

The deaths of Ta’Kiya Young and her unborn child were preventable. Ms. Young sought to resolve the issue with the Police in the streets by driving away and in doing so failed to comply with their commands and directives. The police in their response, seeking compliance, utilized profanity, power and control techniques as well as actions placing their own lives at risk of immediate harm, specifically one officer standing directly in front of the vehicle and the other officer reaching into the vehicle grabbing the steering wheel.

So, the outcome of situations in which the police interact with African Americans under the concepts of “enforcing the law”, directly results in the deaths of a black woman and her unborn child where the only crime was shoplifting a bottle of liquor. So again, the questions remain… To Protect & Serve: Do Black Lives Really Matter?

Looking at the realness of Blackness…  As we continue to hold our breaths awaiting the next police involved shooting of a man, woman, child etc., listen to your own thoughts and feelings…. Answer the question and be with your own truths.

Until the next time… Remaining… In Our Corner

At The Crossroads: The Transformation of Parenting: Accepting Our Adult Children

I can’t let my son go (to college). I am very scared and concerned for his safety.   It’s just not safe out there.  He can stay at home, rent free, find a job, and leave when it’s safe. You asked when will that be? I don’t know.  God will let me know.

–        Anonymous Parent (mother)

I have a son 19 who wants to live the thug life.  I’ve been paying his rent, utilities, cell phone and giving him a monthly stipend of $2,000.00.  Following his last stint in jail for four months he wasted the $8,000.00 I had saved for him. Now, he’s back in jail, wanting me to get him an attorney.  I have had enough.  I will continue to pay his rent, utilities, and cell phone bill.  Anything else he is going to have to do it on his own.

–        Anonymous Parent (father)

I have a daughter who is away attending college out of state. This [is] the first time she has ever lived away from me.  I have been calling her several times a day to check on her.  She won’t tell me anything.  She’s a good girl… and she’s smart.  I am worried.  I met her dorm mate. She seemed levelheaded.  I know [that] I am being a helicopter parent.  I am beginning to irritate my daughter. I don’t know what to do.

–        Anonymous Parent (father)

My Dear Readers,

It is that special time of life that parents have been waiting for since the birth of their child… the ending of one stage of development, adolescence, and movement into the next stage, young adulthood. There is an old saying: “Be careful what you wish for because you just might get it”.

For many years, parents have been directing, supervising, managing, and guiding their children to this very day: adulthood.  Many parents have thought, prayed, wished, and waited for the “freedom” the arrival that this very special moment is going to bring and yet, instead of waves of joy and relief, there may be feelings of unanticipated anxiousness, uncertainty, and unexpected fear.

The three quotes at the beginning of this blog represent statements from parents who have reached out expressing concerns about their children. However, the intent of this blog is to focus on the parents and not the young adults.

The common needs the three parents expressed in the quotes include:

• control
• protection
• resolution of parental fear
• provision of a safe and secured space for the young adult

The needs of the parent can create the following issues within the parent – young adult relationship:

• Conflict regarding parental control and freedom being sought by the young adult.
• Contradictions in parental boundaries and expectations of young adults.
• Confusion and lack of clarity in parental expectations and roles.

Transforming & Restructuring the Parent-Young Adult Relationship: The ABCs of Parent – Adult Interaction

As previously stated, the earlier roles of parental involvement in the daily lives of their children included:  

• directing
• supervising
• managing
• providing guidance

One difficulty that is essential for parents to understand is the transforming and restructuring of the relationship with their child. Once the child attains adulthood, that change is permanent. They must understand that there is no returning to the prior status of childhood or adolescence.  It is in this understanding that the parent realizes that the earlier parental role is now transformed into The ABCs of Parent Adult Interaction.  This includes the following:

• (A) Advocate – as an advocate, the parent should be a good listener, be supportive, have awareness of all the necessary information, and be a good representative should such be called upon.

• (B) Background – being in the background, the parent avoids attracting attention, accepting a position of being less important while encouraging the young adult to step forward accepting responsibility in relationships, communications, and intimacy.  The parent in the background can have an important effect on self-esteem and building confidence in the young person’s life.

• (C) Consultant – as a consultant, the parent is available “upon request” to provide coaching through important decisions, using one’s cumulative experience and knowledge to offer guidance on an issue identified by the young adult.

Concluding Remarks

My Dear Readers,

We do not live in a perfect world and therefore there is no perfect solution for the parents listed in the three quotes.  Here are some recommendations:

• Conflict regarding parental control and freedom being sought as a young adult

Parents must resolve their own internalized fears. They must let go and allow their young adults the freedom they have now attained in adulthood.  The mother who will not allow her son to go off to college is projecting her fear upon her son which places him in the situation of living in fear as well.  Living at home rent free under the mother’s watchful eye is not a safety net; it is merely another form of incarceration.

• Contradiction in parental boundaries and expectations of young adults

Parents must clarify for themselves what are the boundaries and expectations of young adults. It is unrealistic to expect that a 19-year-old seeking to enjoy the “thug” life would be appreciative and act responsibility with a monthly stipend of $2,000.  Understandably the free rent, utilities and cell phone are intended to keep the young adult at a distance yet in a safe place.  However, the financial resources that he did not earn or achieve have been squandered and he is in the place where thugs eventually end up… jail.  The father is living in fear and not validating the intended desires and actions of his son.  The father has set the boundary of no more funds.  The adult son will benefit from the lesson if the father maintains the boundary now set in place.

• Confusion and lack of clarity in parental expectations and roles

Parents must clarify for themselves the roles they seek to have within the lives of their young adults.  Assuming the parent is successful in assisting the young adults in achieving values and clarity in direction, morals etc., then it is feasible to extend trust to the young adult in decision making and experiencing life outside the immediate purview of the parent.  The status of helicopter parenting is one of living in fear, reinforcing lack of trust in the young adult.  Continuations of such behavior will no doubt result in tension and most likely distancing as the young adult may seek alternate ways to engage in living life outside the purview of the hovering parent.

In closing, parenting a child to adulthood is accomplished by following many years of parental distress and joy.  Once the child attains adulthood, the work of parenting is not over, done, or completed.  The reality of being a parent is simple, being a parent is a lifetime vocation.  However, similarly as parents seek for their child to make the transformation into adulthood… so must parents do the same. 

So, consider the transformation to Advocates…Background…Consultants…

Until The Next Crossroads… The Journey Continues

At The Crossroads: The Absentee Father Resurfacing During Young Adulthood.

“You can run but he can’t hide. Once the bell rings, you are on your own. I made the most of my ability and I did my best with my title.”

–        Joe Louis, “The Brown Bomber”. World Heavyweight Champion, 1937-1949.

My Dear Readers,

Being born in Harlem New York and having my childhood in the segregated Jim Crow South during the pre-Civil Rights era, I recall the old men talking about their hero of the day, Joe Louis.  They spoke with joy and pride describing how they listened to the radios calling out his boxing matches and describing each blow to the body or head to his opponent as blows against white domination.  Although too young to really understand the meaning of these boxing matches, it was still a joy for me as I recall these moments and memories of my childhood. Now, these old men are dead and gone.  I have now become the old man, left to share their understanding of Joe Louis’s legacy in the context of this new form of Jim Crow confronting African Americans in 2023.

Joe Louis was the World Heavyweight Champion from 1937 to 1949.  He successfully defended his title 25 consecutive times and holds the record for the longest single reign of a champion in boxing history. Joe Louis is a testament of the blood, sweat and tears of African Americans during the Jim Crow era. He represented their hopes and was a vicarious response to their fears and challenges.  In the boxing ring, his fights were blows struck against racism, oppression, and discriminatory treatment. Though outside of the ring, he was not formally educated, he was a wise person providing insight with his quotes that are still relevant to this very day.

It is with these quotes by Joe Louis that I will seek to bring hope and respond to the fears and challenges presented in the following account of an African American father of three adult children. As a father he was not involved in his children’s lives.  Now his children are adults, holding anger and resentment as he seeks to enter their lives.  

The father begins:

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Dear Dr. Kane,

I am the parent of three adult children.  Just like my own experience where my father was not involved in my life, […] I was not involved in their lives.  When I was growing up, I swore to myself that I was going to be a better father and here I turned out to be just like him. I never told my children anything about their grandfather.  I never knew my father.  He was a “rolling stone”.  He sought the company of other women, prioritizing these women, effectively abandoning his family when I was nine years old.

My reason for writing is one of my sons, who is living on the east coast, is getting married and I have been invited to attend the wedding.  I will not have any role in the wedding.  I have not earned the right of a father. I will be sitting in the rear of the wedding and reception and not be visible [nor will I be] standing next to my son during the services.  As I have not earned the right, I do not expect to be in the family wedding pictures.  As I have not earned the right, during the reception, I will not ask [them to allow me to] give a toast extending well wishes to [the] wedding couple. I acknowledge that I have feelings of guilt and shame.  I would like to make amends regarding the pain I have caused.

My [other] children will be attending their brother’s wedding. I know my children are extremely angry and hold years of resentment [towards me] due to my lack of involvement.  I know I was wrong.  I unknowingly adopted the poor habits of my father.  I now want to be in their lives. I want to prove to them [that] I can become a better parent. I hope that one day they will forgive me. I want to approach them individually and together to apologize.  However, I won’t do this at the wedding because this is my son’s day to shine and celebrate his happiness.  Can you advise me? Am I on the right track, staying [in] the background?

Dad seeking forgiveness,

Portland, OR

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There were several themes arising from this letter. This is a father who has strong feelings of regret regarding his actions of not being involved during his children’s formative years. Now, when his children are adults, he is seeking to be involved in their lives. Although this was written by one African American father, it is a story shared by many men who, regardless of race, as they continue to age, hold unresolved feelings about lack of involvement in their children’s lives.

In this specific situation, this father wants to attend his son’s wedding and acknowledges having feelings of guilt and shame.  He may be responding to conflicts of his desire to be involved in his son’s wedding and apparently seeks to resolve the conflicts by attending the wedding while seeking to remain hidden within the crowd of wedding guests.  In acknowledging his children’s anger and resentment there is the reflection of song by Janet Jackson, “What Have You Done for Me Lately” (1985). Some of the lyrics include the following:

“What have you done for me lately?

I never asked for more than I deserve.

You know it’s the truth.

You ought to be thankful for the little things.

But little things are all you seem to give.

You’re always puttin’ off what we could do today.

Soap opera says you’re got one life to live.

Who’s right, who’s wrong?”

Hiding Among the Wedding Guests

“You can run but you can’t hide.”

–        Joe Louis

The father’s decision to remain at the rear of both the wedding and the reception is an attempt to resolve the conflict he feels for attending by hiding in plain view.  The reality displayed in the letter is the father “living in fear” and is seeking to either continue running or try to distance himself from his emotions. The quote above by Joe Louis can be clinically interpreted as: One can try to escape what one fears the most but ultimately the individual must face their fears.  Understanding that the father is fearful of possible rejection by his children, he should take into consideration that he was invited to attend the wedding and not excluded. 

As his children may also be wrestling with their feelings, the invitation may be a gesture, an acknowledgment of family and/or an offering of reconnection. Rather than seeking refuge in the shadows, it is recommended that the father be visible, extend congratulatory comments and make himself available for whatever role, may it be toasting or picture involvement that the bride and groom would ask.  Furthermore, should he not be invited to partake in a specific role, his attendance at the wedding is a statement of acknowledgment of both acceptance by his children, as well as beginning of his transformation from a non-involved parent to an involved parent.

“I have not earned the right of a father.”

“Once the bell rings, you are on your own.”

–        Joe Louis

Each time “The Brown Bomber” stepped into the boxing ring to confront a new opponent, to focus on the forthcoming tasks, he had to make peace with himself.  The same concept can be applied to this father.  As he enters the wedding proceedings, in comparison to a boxing match, he will be stepping into this “ring”.

Rather than entering as a champion, he will be the contender.  He will be there alone, without a supporting cast. All eyes, including his children, other family members and friends will be watching to see how he will interact and the outcome of his involvement in the proceedings. 

In the letter, the father acknowledges having feelings of guilt, shame, and the desire to make amends regarding the pain he has caused.  However, prior to seeking his children’s forgiveness, it is recommended that he take a respite, emotionally stepping away and embrace his feelings of guilt and shame.  It is in the embrace that he can be reflective and balance his feelings and thoughts, bringing closeness and normalizing his feelings rather than distancing himself. This process will assist him in coming to terms with his past and help him move towards healthier and more meaningful interactions with his children.

“I want to prove to them I can become a better parent”.

“I made the most of my ability and I did my best with my title.”

–        Joe Louis

Joe Louis was a symbol of greatness. The Jim Crow era was an extremely difficult time for Black people in America. Though he was not formally educated, the wisdom he shared was passed down from his mother.  Like the children in this letter, Joe Louis grew up without his father, Munroe Barrow, who was committed to an asylum when he was just two years old. With the available information regarding his father, Joe Lewis defined him as a “rolling stone”. In the African American community, a “rolling stone” is defined as a man chasing multiple women and unable to settle down even if he had a wife and children. This type of person was also seen as not taking care of his family illustrated by in the song “Papa Was a Rollin Stone”, (originally released by The Undisputed Truth 1971 and re-released by The Temptations 1972).  Some of the lyrics include:

Papa was a rollin’ stone

Wherever he laid his hat was his home

And when he died, all he left us was alone.

Hey Momma!

Is it true what they say that Papa never worked a day in his life

And Momma, some bad talk goin’ round town sayin’ that

Papa has three outside children

And another wife, and that ain’t right

In line with the lyrics, this father did not grow up with his father.  As a child he became aware of his father’s unacceptable behaviors of womanizing and family abandonment. Although this father made the commitment not to be like his father, he too found himself engaging in similar behaviors that lead to him abandoning his own family.  Now that his children are adults, in seeking to make amends, there is the verbal commitment of becoming a better parent than his father.

Rather than seeking to become a better father, it recommended to follow the wisdom of Joe Lous, “I made the most of my ability and I did the best with my title”.  Specifically, focus on one’s ability to spend quality, meaningful time, and interaction with one’s children.  Do one’s best with the title of father.

Concluding Words

“When I was growing up, I swore to myself that I was going to be a better father and here I turned out to be just like him. I never told my children anything about their grandfather.  I never knew my father.”

My Dear Readers,

There are several concerns and recommendations that I will leave you and others to consider:

• “I swore to myself that I was going to be a better father.” – It is wasteful to spend precious time trying to correct the past.  The concept of “bettering the past” cannot be objectively measured.  Therefore, focus on becoming a “different parent” creating interactions and behaviors with one’s children.  Acknowledge the past and the mistakes made and seek to be different than your father instead of better.

• “I turned out to be just like him.”– It is feasible that the parent of this father learned behaviors by observing his father.  Therefore, as behaviors are modeled unconsciously, there is merit that this father modeled the behavior of his father who engaged in “rollin’ stone” behavior.  It is with sincere hope this father will enter a therapeutic relationship focusing on forgiveness of self and healing the unresolved traumatic wounds resulting not only in his wounding but also in the wounding of his children.

• “I never told my children anything about their grandfather.” It is feasible that the father has limited information or holds negative feelings such as shame or disappointment about the actions and behaviors of the children’s grandfather.  All children have a fundamental right to know what information is available about key family members. To deny a child this information may result in distress leading to psychological trauma. Therefore, regardless of the quantity or quality of information it is best to share with children and assist them in balancing the information as well as creating a healthy “emotional container” to hold this information.

In closing, there is sincerity in hope and achievement in the development of positive interactions between this father and his children.  Speaking specifically to the African American community, it is a crucial mistake to maintain the belief that “time will heal wounds”.  The reality is that time is simply what it is… time.  Without both a commitment and the work that follows the commitment, time is what it is: moments of passage.

Past… Present… Future

Letting go of the past…

Is not forgetting…

The pain… the wounding… the suffering.

In honoring the memories

We do not surrender

In letting go, we honor

The past

As we live in the present

Preparing our children

For the future.

Dr. Micheal Kane

Until The Next Crossroads… The Journey Continues

In Our Corner: Learning to Live With Fear not In Fear

“He already has two strikes against him. He is black and he’s a man.  I don’t want him to get that third strike.”

–        Anonymous Mother of 14-year-old boy.

“I am so terrified.  I know I can’t protect my son while he is out on the streets.  I am afraid the police will take him… He is a good person… a college graduate…has a good job… but all they see is the color of his skin.”

–        Anonymous Mother of 28-year-old son.

“When I kiss my husband goodbye, I tell him that I love him.  I ask God to protect him and bring him home safely from work. When I hear police sirens, I can’t breathe, I can’t think.  I am in hell. I can’t do this anymore!”

–        Anonymous Spouse married 10 years.

My Dear Readers,

Once again, I find myself reaching out to you. I am not a prolific blog poster.  I am extremely busy with my clinical practice.  And yet in the last two blog postings, I find myself pressed to resume writing again.

In a recent post, one of my colleagues chastised me for my written views when I compared Jim Crow of the 1940’s to the lived experiences of African Americans in 2023.  James Genovese, LPC, stated:

“While it is naïve to believe that all vestiges of racism and economic oppression have been eliminated, it is equally naïve to think that we are the same Jim Crow society of the 1940.’s.” (LinkedIn 06.07.23)

Recently an article in the Associated Press (AP) reported six White former Mississippi police officers pleaded guilty to state charges for torturing, sexually and physically assaulting two Black men.  The AP story goes on to state that the six police officers entered the home without a warrant, handcuffed and assaulted the two men with tasers, sex toys, and other objects.

The news story added:

“In the gruesome crimes committed by men tasked with enforcing the law, federal prosecutors saw echoes of Mississippi’s dark history, including the 1964 killing of three civil rights workers after a deputy handed them off to the Klu Klux Klan… Prosecutors say some of the officers nicknamed themselves the “Goon Squad” because of their willingness to use excessive force and cover up attacks including the assault that ended with a deputy shooting one of the victims in the mouth.”

–        Goldberg, Michael. “Six Former Mississippi Officers Plead Guilty to State Charges for Torturing Two Black Men.” Associated Press. 08.14.2023.

Repeated actions by the police that resulted in psychological impacts and traumas of previous generations are now being passed down to present and future generations. The result is these new generations “living in fear” as indicated by the three quotes at the beginning of this blog.

The common theme of the three quotes brings to mind the Greek myth, Sisyphus. He is cursed to roll an immense boulder up a hill only for it to roll back down each time it neared the top for eternity.  Sisyphus’ rock represents mankind’s absurd dilemma, which is ultimately impossible to resolve—that mankind longs for reason and meaning in the world, but the world refuses to answer that longing. Hence, African Americans understanding the repetitive years of the dilemma of policing in their community longingly sought to have White Americans take notice and bring resolution, only to have been met with silence and failure with the result of continuing to “roll the rock up the hill”.

In my clinical practice, focusing on traumatology, a result of trauma can be one being reduced to a state of existing or surviving in the “Pit of Despair”. Therefore, after being subjected to the traumatic assault, the insult, intrusion, or incident, a permanent psychological wound develops, meaning, the traumatic experience never ever goes away. The problem may lie in the fear associated with the trauma or a similar trauma repeating itself or the inability to control the illumination of the new or reoccurring traumatic experience.  So, the person begins “Living in Fear” of the next impending traumatic experience. 

A clinical methodology of treating individuals responding to traumatic impacts is to assist individuals through the following:

• Clinical understanding of the permeance of trauma – trauma never, ever goes away.
• Teach skills in balancing the burden of traumatic impacts allowing the weight of such burden to become lighter.
• Provide a clinical methodology to transform the experience from existing and surviving the trauma impacts – Living in Fear, to growth and empowerment following trauma impacts – Living with Fear.

Transformation: From “Living in Fear” to “Living with Fear”.

The concept of Living in Fear is one where the individual during and following the traumatic incident is overwhelmed, drowning… driven to states of hopelessness, helplessness, and powerlessness.  It is the individual’s finality to control feelings, thoughts and the external spaces surrounding one’s immediate environment. 

The concept of Living with Fear is one where the traumatized individual, during and following the traumatic incident can achieve advocacy for self, balance with one’s emotions and calmness within one’s external environment. 

Movement of the negative F.E.A.R. (states of existing & surviving)

• False – what is occurring is meant to deceive.
• Expectations – strong belief that something will happen.
• Assumptions – accepted as true or certain to happen.
• Real – actually existing or occurring as fact.

Transformation to the positive F.E.A.R. (states of growth & empowerment)

• Facing – confronting, dealing, and accepting a difficult fact or situation.
• Embracing – accepting and supporting a belief or change willingly and enthusiastically.
• Acknowledging – accepting and admitting the truth or the validity of a position.
• Responding – advocating, returning, and normalizing; preparing for fullness in the state of transforming.

Concluding Words

“I am invisible, simply because people refuse to see me.”

–        Ralph Ellison, Author. “The Invisible Man” (1952).

My Dear Readers,

My experiences during my 70 years of living in Jim Crow America, have shown that regardless of my accolades, accomplishments, and achievements (and there are many), as stated by Ralph Ellison, “I am invisible simply because people refused to see me”. One individual, my esteemed colleague and PTSD psychotherapist James Genovese LPC, rather than seek to question the differences to his strongly held beliefs, he decided to hold on to an illusion and regretfully expose himself as not credible in his self-designation as an expert in PTSD.  I would encourage him and any other colleagues seeking to understand the realities of Jim Crow in today’s era review the following readings:

• “The New Jim Crow: Mass Incarceration in the Age of Colorblindness” by Michelle Alexander (2010)
• “Post Traumatic Slave Syndrome” by Dr. Joy DeGruy, Ph.D.

“Our hope is we can put this unfortunate case of “wrong place, wrong time” behind us and continue to represent the community that we serve.”

–        Statement by Lansing Police Department (08.13.23) following a police officer unholstering his weapon, detaining, and handcuffing 12-year-old black boy who the police “misidentified as an adult suspected of car thefts. The 12-year-old boy was in the process of taking out the trash to the dumpster when accustomed by the police.

In closing, it is apparently clear that when it comes to psychological incidents and traumatic intrusions created by today’s policing under the cover of “representing the community that we serve” will continue.  The African American community continues to be caught in a dilemma similar to Sisyphus who is forced to roll a rock up the hill for eternity.  Until assistance is given to stop the psychological intrusions, African Americans can mitigate the psychological impacts by learning methods that will empower themselves to live with the fear rather than live in fear.

The problem of transforming policing lies with those holding the illusion of Whiteness. The silence is loud and noticeable.  As James Baldwin stated:

“They (White people) have had the belief for many years, and for innumerable reasons that black men are inferior to white men.  Many of them, indeed, know better, but, as you will discover, people find it difficult to act on what they know.  To act is to be committed, and to be committed is to be in danger.  In this case, the danger is in the minds of most white Americans is the loss of their identity.”

–        James Baldwin Author. “The Fire Next Time”, (1963).

Until the next time…

Remaining … In Our Corner.