The Year 2014: As The Door Closes, Another Era Begins

My Dear Readers,

This blog marks the culmination of my blog postings for the year of 2014. As I close out the year, I want to acknowledge the experiences that I have had walking my journey of life this past year.

In addition, I want to provide insight as to what the readership can expect in the upcoming year as Loving Me More moves forward.

My memorable 10 experiences of 2014:

  • I am grateful that throughout my travels in and outside the United States, that despite numerous contacts with various members of law enforcement, some of which were psychologically traumatic, I emerged from all of these interactions physically unharmed, and not arrested or detained.
  • I am blessed that my adult children are safe. Every night I pray for their safety with specific emphasis on my son, who is a just and good man.
  • I am thankful that I rise every morning without the dreaded notification that my son was either in police custody or dead due to an encounter with law enforcement.
  • The 30th anniversary of my marriage to my beloved Linda passed on December 11, 2014. She passed away at home two years ago.  She was kind enough to wait for me so I could come home from working my private practice so I could be with her as she took her last breath. She was always there in partnership, walking with me by my side for 28 years.  There can and will never be another. I will continue to keep our marital covenant.  In doing so, I will walk our daughter down the matrilineal aisle.  I will stand by my son as his union is blessed. I will hold our first grandchild.  Then and only then will I be free to once again to be with my Linda by her side in the kitchen, laughing and working together again.
  • In May 2014, I transitioned from my previous place of employment to working full time in my private practice. I did experience some trauma, but in retrospect, it is and was the best thing that I could have done for myself.
  • In August 2014, with the assistance of Jamian Smith and her consulting firm Arcana Solutions, I launched my third website, Loving Me More. (lovingmemore.com).  The focus of the website is both clinical and educational, exploring “the art of healthy narcissism and the fully realized self.”  The blog postings for At the Crossroads & The Visible Man have been reviewed in ten countries, on six continents, and have been translated into four languages including French, Portuguese, Spanish and Russian.
  • I was born “colored” in Harlem New York. In September 2014, I travelled returning to the state of Virginia, the land of my young childhood.  As a child of segregation, I attended an elementary school for colored children.  In the fourth grade, I was one of the children chosen to integrate a white school.  I spent the entire year there being “silenced”.  My return to the schools of early childhood development was the first time I stepped into the state of Virginia in 53 years. Although I left during tense times from a school with an all-white teaching staff, I returned to find that my school was now led by a principal who was a young African-American woman, leading a successful school that was diverse in both its students and teaching faculty.  I am extremely grateful for the friendship of my colleagues Dr. Paul Jordan & his wife, Barbara Jordan MA, who accompanied me on this trip and sat through what was some of the most traumatic portions of this journey.  I was born a colored boy in Harlem, New York. I returned home to Seattle WA as an African American man.
  • In October 2014, I made the decision to return to the task of obtaining my licensure as a clinical psychologist in the state of Washington. My earlier attempts to do so were overshadowed by the illness of my beloved and my commitment to provide quality care in my practice. Now that my Linda has passed on to the other side, I shall return to keeping the commitment of finishing the journey associated with my doctoral education.  I am empowered to walk this journey solo.  I expect to complete the study and examination process in July 2015.
  • In November 2014, during my attendance of a yearlong certification program in aboriginal trauma-focused therapy in Vancouver, British Columbia, my brothers of the land presented me with the gifts of the bear claw and dream catcher. I will return in January 2015 to complete the certification program as well as being honored by my peers, the “People of the Land” in a naming ceremony in which I will receive my name and hear the story that goes along with it.
  • On December 3, 2014, my daughter and I, along with another father and daughter couple had a “Daddy & Daughter Night Out” where we enjoyed a wonderful dinner at a waterfront seafood restaurant. It was a beautiful evening focused on two very proud African-American fathers enjoying an evening out with their very accomplished adult daughters. We concluded the night by attending the Stevie Wonder concert at the Key Arena in downtown Seattle.  He too was there with his oldest daughter, as lead singer in his group. The concert was off the chart!  It included a 40 piece band with a horn section, two groups of backup singers, and the string section of the Seattle Symphony.  The concert, which lasted past midnight was well attended, and well received by the a diverse group of attendees coming from throughout the Pacific Northwest region.
  • I am grateful for the relationships I have developed over the past year. I am saddened for the loss of those who have passed on.  I am resolved that we will meet again on the other side.
  • During this past year there has been many times I have faltered, fallen and somehow with God’s help, found empowerment within the self to get up off my knees, and not give up.  I am empowered as I step into the wind to continue the journey we call life. Despite the difficulties experienced, my human qualities remain intact.

Here is what I look forward to in my personal and professional journey, going into 2015:

  • Public misconceptions of the impact of sexual abuse and trauma upon victims and how or why they continue to hold on to the trauma for many years persists.

Beginning in 2015, Loving Me More (www.lovingmemore.com) will begin publishing 6-8 segments of the experiences of a person who was a victim of child sexual abuse.

The Journey: Bobbi’s Saga chronicles her life experiences as she moves from the status of “survivor” to “striver” of emancipation from the trauma of child sexual abuse, and will be posted the last week of each month beginning February 2015.

  • It is clearly apparent that ethnic minorities and communities of color continue to be impacted by actions resulting from racial profiling, targeting and continue to be vulnerable to ongoing and daily contact with law enforcement.

Throughout 2015, the clinical practice of Loving The Self (www.lovingtheself.com) will publish brochures relating to those topics.  The brochures will be available on http://www.lovingmemore.com and feature the following topics:

  • To Empower & Protect: SAFE Behaviors & Interactions with Law Enforcement
  • Trauma In Children and Adolescents
  • Healthy Narcissism and Loving The Self
  • Depression: Coping with the Low Down Blues
  • Rethinking Trauma: Learning To Live with Fear
  • The Unspoken Pain of Shame & Humiliation
  • Enduring Pain: Suffering In Silence
  • Dusk to Dawn: Interrupted Sleep & Nightmares
  • When Enough is Enough: The Use of Alcohol & Drugs to Reduce Stress

Concluding Words

Lastly, I want to express concerns as well as hope as we all move forward into the New Year.  We leave a year of political turmoil and civil unrest that has captivated our nation.  We have acknowledged the inability to legislate or control the feelings of fear that lie deep in the heart of the individual.

However, we can impact those feelings by working together and openly communicating our concerns as we seek to build a stronger foundation for our children.

I bid you all safe passage as we continue to travel the journey we know as life. Until the next crossroads…The journey continues.

Dr. Micheal Kane

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